Note to Sarah Palin: Mother to Mother-“Get Real!”

The Republicans are on their way home…now the fun begins. In just a few months, we will know who will lead the country for the next four years. My question to Sarah Palin is this. Who is going to lead your children? I get it when you say you have a supportive husband who is always there for you. I get it when you complain that men aren’t subjected to the same kind of questioning as women when it comes to family values. Been there…done that… got the t-shirt. But Sarah… GET REAL. No one will ever be able to take your place as a mother. I’m telling you this not because of what I have heard. I’m telling you this because this is what I know. More than 17 years ago, I was elected the national president of the National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ)….the first woman in our organization to accomplish that. The biggest heartstring pulling at me was how it would affect my two year old son. That consideration almost forced me not to run.

But NABJ has always been like a family to me and my family rallied around me and offered me all the support and encouragement I needed. Even after I was elected, I realized that there was a cost involved. Many times I would have to load the entire family into the car to drive to meetings around the country instead of flying, just so we could be together. Several women in the organization became surrogate moms when I had presidential duties to perform. I will never forget the time when NABJ VP Sheila Stainback stood in the back of the ballroom, covering the ears of my young son with her hands, when I had to challenge and eventually put out vile rapper Bushwick Bill from a session on hip-hop music when he used derogatory language directed towards the women in the audience. I remember the time we were panicking when my son unintentionally locked himself in the master bedroom of the presidential suite during a convention and we couldn’t awaken him for hours to unlock the door. For some reason, the hotel staff didn’t have a key to the room as we banged and banged on the door as tears swelled in my eyes. Eventually, he woke up and walked out, with a look that said, “why are you all so worried about me?”

Now here you are, Sarah, not only dealing with a child with special needs, but also with a daughter who has done something that we have been imploring all of our young girls NOT to do and that is have sex and get pregnant, especially before entering the holy bond of matrimony. Your children need you more than ever before. And with respect to all the fathers of the world, they will never be a MOMMY to your children. While I am not questioning your dedication to our country, your family comes FIRST. They always will. That reality has forced many of us to make some difficult choices about our lives and our careers.

Many women have stepped out of the workplace because of that choice. Others have taken jobs that don’t force them to travel so much. I thank God that when my children were born, I had a position as an executive producer of a morning news program that allowed me to be home almost always in the afternoon. My children have never been latchkey children. I’ve been to almost every baseball and football game and every wrestling match. I’ve served team meals, taken snacks to the boys, washed uniforms and then stayed up late with them to make sure they did their homework. That’s what’s being a mother is all about.  

Now Sarah you are the poster girl for “hockey moms” and other working mothers. But I really wonder whether you know what that really means. Do you really know the sacrifices you are asking your family to make? Do you really expect your family to escape the glare, criticism and praise of the media? 

And while we are talking about what’s off limits and what’s not when it comes to the media scrutiny of the candidates’ families, I must respectfully disagree with my brother Barack Obama and others who are telling the media to “back off.” Sorry kiddos, that’s not going to happen. Since when do politicians tell journalists how to do our job? They may not like what the media say and do, but it’s reality. Get over it. Smart politicians listen to their media advisors and develop a strategy on how to deal with this reality, not condemn it. Everyone’s family is fair game when you run for office. That’s the price of public office. That’s why many people decide not to go into that arena because they know the toll it will take on their family and friends. You may not think it is right or fair, but this is the real world and that’s how we roll. 

So Sarah, Barack, John and all of the other pundits lashing out at the media need to get a wake up call. You’ve made your choice and now you have to deal with the consequences…the good, the bad and the ugly. As my beloved late mother used to say, “you’ve made your bed, now lay in it.”

Obama’s Thrill

Is it just me? Or has Barack Obama’s candidacy created a type of excitement and thrill in the political arena unlike any I have seen in almost 40 years? I was just a young child in elementary school when John F. Kennedy ran for resident. But I still remember, to this day, the excitement and optimism that he generated in that campaign. He brought America to its feet. It was a new day for our country! I feel the same kind of thrill now with the Obama campaign. As a journalist, I try to step back and evaluate all the candidates and of course, don’t get into endorsing anyone. But I just wanted to offer my evaluation. I was able to meet Senator Hillary Clinton face-to-face this summer when I produced the opening session for the National Association of Black Journalists convention. She was a part of the four-hour marathon that I was responsible for making work. Senator Obama was supposed to be part of that, but he couldn’t make it to the convention until the following day. I remember meeting Sen. Clinton in the backstage area after she had a meet-and-greet with the officialdom of NABJ. The backstage area was full of wires and other tricky obstacles that are all part of a major production. To help guide the Senator from the hallway to the stairs leading to the stage, I held the Senator’s hand. Secret Service men scrambled in front of us with small spotlights pointing to the potential traps that could have led to a disastrous fall for either the Senator or me. We made it to the bottom of the stairs without incident. While we were waiting for her introduction, I remarked to Sen. Clinton that I had met her husband years ago in another incarnation. I told her that I was the first NABJ president to bring a national presidential candidate to our convention (Bill) and that I was fortunate to be the first female NABJ president. I’m sure she saw the irony in that and she winked at me and said ” Alright, Madam President!” Her presentation was strong and bold in front of a room full of inquisitive Black folks. Senator Obama was just as entertainment and formidable in his presentation the following day. He even confronted the annoying issue of whether he is “Black enough” head on with a joke about the fact that he was a few minutes late in arriving on stage. The rest of his presentation was dynamic. But now, a few months have passed and several primaries later, it is clear that this year’s election is going to be unlike any other. Who would have imaged just ten years ago that the primary candidates for the Democratic nomination would be an African American and a woman? That’s how fast things are changing in the world. But I must tell you that I have never seen young people so galvanized, African Americans so energized and such a wave of change happening in our country in more than four decades!!! I, too, am energized and motivated and I pray that this momentum continues to put America back on the right track.