Most people have heard the children’s holiday song “All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth.” Here’s my list of what I REALLY want for Christmas this year.

• Violence and lawlessness continues to rip our community apart. Yesterday, my oldest son was robbed at gunpoint as he got out of the car to go into a store to buy Christmas candy treats for the children in the after-school program where he works. I thank God that he was not physically hurt, but it is a moment that he will remember for the rest of his life. Not only did this criminal threaten my son’s life, but also he literally stole from the mouths of babes. What is even more disturbing is that black-on-black crime seems to be escalating at an alarming rate. I know that people are suffering economically…so are we. But why do we continue to allow these people to prey on our neighborhoods each and every day? This thug lifestyle is even glorified on television shows, movies and especially music videos. We have a whole generation of people who believe that this kind of lifestyle is not only normal, but also expected. As a professional journalist, I’ve reported on these kinds of stories for more than 30 years and I know that the outcome could have been much worse for my son. But I never knew the pain until it hit so close to home.

• Hazing, bullying and intimidation must end immediately. I went to college in the 70s in the days of the Black Power Movement when there were serious questions raised about the relevance of being “Black and Greek.” I have never understood how getting my butt beaten would endear me and bond me to my “brothers or sisters” in any sorority, fraternity, organization or group. It just doesn’t make sense to me. In fact, it seems like the same kind of activity that is used to initiate people into gangs. Schools continue to tolerate this behavior as more students die, are seriously injured or even take their own lives when they feel like they can’t take it any more. Why aren’t we doing things to encourage achievement in all of our schools, from elementary to the college level, instead of creating an environment where children are terrorized and young adults fail academically because they think it is more important to be part of the “in crowd”?

• Multi-million dollar athletes and celebrities may provide different kinds of entertainment. But what does it say about our society when we engage in. celebrity worship of gangsters, gold diggers, hussies, pimps, booty shakers, one-hit wonders and the ‘low lifes” in our communities? Everybody wants to get rich quick rather than work to earn those millions. What happened to the concept of paying your dues? The real heroes in our society are the teachers, health care professionals, lawyers, emergency responders, engineers, legitimate business owners and others who give back and make a difference in the lives of others. Even though I work in the media, my profession is a co-conspirator in perpetrating this warped view of the world. Now, anyone who blogs, tweets, posts or be-friends others on social media think they are journalists. Forget whether there is an ounce of truth in what they say or write. Most news organizations and other media have abdicated our primary responsibility to be society’s watchdog, to provide a voice for the voiceless, to comfort the affiliated and afflict the comfortable, to speak truth to power. Instead, they are in pursuit of the almighty dollar.

• Every day, the news headlines are filled with the latest and greatest report about child molesters, sexual predators, child and elderly abusers, forced laborers, human traffickers and other culprits. Whatever you call it, this is modern-day slavery. There are many who believe that slavery no longer exists in this country and around the world. There are many organizations and individuals fighting to stop these heinous acts. But they are usually ignored because the alternative is viewed as much more sensational. What has happened to our priorities and our sensibilities? We must immediately end the mistreatment and disrespect of others.

• Finally, all I want for Christmas is for our religious leaders, politicians and those in power to get a reality check. America is not the same as it was 50, 25 or even ten years ago. One of the issues we are afraid to discuss is race in America. Why can’t we have an open and honest discussion about the things that continue to divide us and make us immediately suspicious of people who don’t look like us? There have been minuscule efforts to deal with race and ethnicity but those efforts are drowned out by the noise of ignorance and intolerance. People continue to live under highway viaducts, families are living in cars (just ask Sly Stone from the hugely successful R&B group, Sly and the Family Stone who now lives penniless in a van) and thousands line up every day at shelters because they don’t know when and where they will get their next meal. The only thing that is constant is change. If we don’t learn from the mistakes of the past, we are doomed to repeat them.

]]> http://sisterswhohavesomethingtosay.wordpress.com/2011/12/13/all-i-want-for-christmas/feed/ 0 sidmel christmasholly9 http://sisterswhohavesomethingtosay.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/why-there-is-no-unity-in-unity/ http://sisterswhohavesomethingtosay.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/why-there-is-no-unity-in-unity/#comments Fri, 01 Jul 2011 20:06:00 +0000 sidmel http://sisterswhohavesomethingtosay.wordpress.com/?p=59 ]]> It took me a long time to decide whether this blog. But I decided I could no longer be silent. Here’s my opinion about why Unity: Journalists of Color fell apart. For those who don’t know, Unity was a coalition of the National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ), the National Association of Hispanic Journalists (NAHJ), the Asian American Journalists Association (AAJA) and the Native American Journalists Association (NAJA). Now, this could be a little “too much inside baseball” for people who are not journalists. But I think the essence of why Unity fell apart speaks to the broader issue of how to deal with racial issues in America.

• I was the first incorporator for the Unity 1994 convention. We had to overcome many obstacles such as a small and insular Asian community in Atlanta, on-going immigration issues in Georgia affecting Hispanics, and the controversy over the name of the Atlanta Braves and the “chop” for Native Americas. NABJ members were thrilled to come to Atlanta because, after all, it is considered the “black Mecca.” But the lion’s share of the work also fell on the backs of the Atlanta chapter of NABJ. We worked very hard and tried to address all the issues brought up by these various groups and I believe we were very successful. At that time, all the boards fully understood and insisted that Unity should be a coordinating unit for our four organizations. It was NEVER the intention of the founding group to create a fifth entity, especially one that would compete with all four organizations for grants, foundation money and programs. All that seemed to change in 2003. I believe that Unity board did not think things through and the ramifications of creating a “stand alone” organization complete with a staff and budget.

• Unity was supposed to be an advocacy coalition between our four groups because we believed in strength in numbers. While Unity has taken some positions, it has been under the Unity umbrella rather than the collective voices of our four organizations. But it never became the “industry giant” it was supposed to be. We were too busy “biting the hand that fed Unity.” We never became the in your face coalition that we wanted to be.

• The financial model and the governance issues just didn’t add up. First, there was a problem getting the actual financial statements, which is a no-no for any journalism organization. We expect others to be totally transparent about their financial reports, so we should do the same. Then, after doing the math, it became clear that NABJ and other organizations were not receiving the proceeds to which they were entitled. Most of the money was being funneled back into Unity. And when all of the other groups started suffering financially because of the downturn in the economy, Unity made no economic offers to help. Instead, it sat on largesse of almost a million dollars while everyone else was laying off people, cutting programs and closing offices. The numbers also did not add up on the board representation. NABJ has consistently attracted the largest number of registrants at every Unity convention and it has the largest membership. But those numbers were not proportionately represented on the board. It was a classic case of taxation without representation

• The right people who should have been brought in to work out the problems were not utilized. One of the joys I have from the Unity experience is that I developed long-lasting relationships and friendships with fellow journalists from all ethnicities. I still treasure those relationships today. If the resources of these sage journalists were tapped and they were involved in the process, things would have worked out and there would have been no need for NABJ to pull out. But many of these leaders have been “put out to pasture” by all of the organizations and their valuable experiences are lost.

• Finally, Unity suffers from the same mindset that plagues America. We are afraid to honestly and openly talk about race and ethnicity in the United States. President Bill Clinton made a half-hearted attempt when he authorized his commission on race, which went nowhere. Instead of making remarks behind closed doors, we need to put all of our cards on the table and deal with race and racism in this country. We must be willing to talk about the differences that exist between our groups and address those differences boldly. We need the courage to speak out and say why we don’t like each other or what are the pet peeves that really irritate us. Then we need to deal with those issues.

There is no such thing as a monolithic “black” community with self-appointed leaders and spokespeople. The label “Asian” can include people from India, China, Korea, Vietnam and several other countries. “Hispanic” covers people from Brazil, Puerto Rico, Cuba, Mexico and countries throughout the southern hemisphere. Technology has made the world much smaller and we will continue to become more diverse. So, we must be frank and in some cases, brutal with each other in order to reach a level of trust and the true meaning of Unity. Until we do face facts and devise solutions, there can be no “unity” in Unity.  The black/white issues remain a difficult subject to address. Now, coming to grips with that reality that there are people from all backgrounds throughout the fabric of our society, there is no way we all cannot NOT deal with this quickly.

Naturally, the article has prompted a flurry of opinion columns, blogs and other responses. Morehouse president Dr. Robert Franklin sent out a letter of outrage to students and alumni prior to the publication of the magazine. “Addressing our young men as “girls” is deeply disturbing to me, no matter what the remainder of the article may say,” he wrote. What I don’t understand is why this is an issue now since the central point of the controversy evolves around the enforcement of a dress code policy that is a year and a half old.

I first encountered the cross-dressing group that call themselves “The Plastics” when my oldest son first enrolled at Morehouse. I distinctly remember spotting them in the college’s courtyard, right outside of one of the Dean’s offices. Of course, their flamboyant appearance caught my eye. But since I am a native Atlantan and I’ve worked in television news for more than three decades, I’ve seen almost everything. So, I really didn’t pay them much mind. The Dean who accompanied us addressed them the same way he did other students we met along the way. I didn’t see any signs of taunting or unfair treatment of this group that understandably attracts a lot of attention.

I vividly remember one of my first days as a “Morehouse Mom”. I accompanied my son on the first day he reported for football camp. The minute we stepped in the front door of the lobby of the dorm where the football players were staying, several veteran members of the team politely, but firmly told him that no facial hair and no male earrings were allowed on the team. Since my son was a new transfer, he was not aware of the rules. He grumbled and complained a little as we sat in the lobby waiting for his room assignment. Before the end of the day, he shaved his facial hair and removed the earrings. Once he knew the policy, he knew he had to choice to either comply or deal with the consequences.

The policy had nothing to do with my son’s individual expression. The rules were the rules. It was his choice whether to comply with those rules. It was not a question of whether he was discriminated against or repressing his freedom of expression. We realized that there was a dress code and he had to abide by that code or he had to deal with the consequences.

One of the major complaints of “The Plastics” is that they were being targeted and that other parts of the dress code were not being enforced. I don’t know what Morehouse “The Plastics” are talking about. I have witnessed college administrators admonishing young men to remove their caps when they enter a building or pull up their pants when they are saggin’. I’m not telling you what I have heard, I’m telling you what I know.

Remember, I come from the same city that produced General Larry “Pants on the Ground” Platt. I’ve dealt with the saggin’ pants issue for a number of years. Whenever a young man walks in front of me in a public place, it is not unusual for me to tell him, “I really don’t want to see your drawers”, much to the distress of my sons. “Mama, you are going to get us shot!” they would warn me. In most cases, the young men I addressed were respectful enough to pull up their pants, at least in front of me.

Morehouse is a private institution. They have the right to require certain attire. If you want to attend Morehouse, you know what you are signing up to do…comply by their rules or deal with the consequences. Several members of “The Plastics” have already decided that Morehouse is not the place for them and have enrolled at other schools. As a “Mean Mom of Morehouse” I’m disappointed that the issues of just a few students have tainted the image of other fine young men at Morehouse, including my son. Plus…it’s an old story.

What "could have" been (Getty Images)

I waited for a few days before I decided to post this blog. I guess part of my rationale was that I was “too close” to this subject. Too many times I have allowed my Sagittarius nature to kick in and I started to write or speak without thinking things through. But this comment kept gnawing at me until I finally said, “just put it out there.”

I had very mixed emotions with the announcement that Michael Vick had finally been picked up by a NFL team to play, now that he is out of jail. As a lot of writers have already done, I will admit that I love dogs. I have two girl mutts, whom I saved from a shelter and wandering the streets of northwest Atlanta. They are beautiful. The day I brought the younger dog home to meet the “queen” dog, it made me sick to my stomach when they got into a little skirmish over territorial rights in the back yard. So you KNOW I couldn’t take witnessing an actual dog fight. I’ve seen a little on various television shows, but never in person. Nor would I ever want to see that. This is not about the guilt or innocence of Michael Vick. What I want to address is whether we really are going to witness the resurrection of Michael.

I am still trying to release my anger towards Michael. It’s not because of the dog issue. It’s because he instilled so much hope in the Atlanta Falcons that we COULD be a contender, a winning team. He had elevated respect for a long-suffering team. We had bet the mortgage on him. Then, he let us down. He did something that hurt the team. That’s what pisses me off. He hurt my Falcons and it is taking me a lot time to get over that.

Years ago when Michael was the “star” of the Falcons who could do no evil and who even had Arthur Blank pushing him around in a wheelchair and I was an aggressive television executive producer, Michael was not on my list of “top ten professional athlete personalities.” I came to that conclusion when I was trying to do fun type interviews with various players at the Falcons facility for my show. Michael and “his people” continuously swept past me and refused to give interviews even though everyone else on the team was cooperating. As Tony Dungy said, Michael was acting like “he didn’t need Jesus in his life” at that time. So, as the old folks say, I knew he was “cruisin’ for a bruisin’” and that’s what he got.

But with Dungy at his side at his first “freedom” news conference, I saw and heard an entirely different Michael Vick and I was so happy to see that. Yes, it was obvious that he was well coached on his answers. Good for him. Some of these  other professional athletes out here need some of that coaching. Michael spoke so much better than I have heard him  for so many years. And that makes me happy. What makes me sad is knowing that a man who has so much God-given talent is no longer on MY TEAM. Not only that, but we are going to have to play against Michael and his new birds.  Only time…and Michael’s actions… will determine if he was telling the truth. I think he was. I think he has found Jesus.

A recent study out of the Kellogg School of Management at my alma mater, Northwestern University, revealed that African American CEOs of Fortune 500 companies with a “babyface” look were more likely to lead companies with bigger revenues and influence than CEOs who look more mature. The study is supposed to be published in September in the Journal, “Psychological Science” by researcher Robert Livingston. What does it mean to have a babyface look? According to the study, a round face, full cheeks, larger foreheads, small nose, large ears, full lips and NO FACIAL HAIR. The opposite was true, according to the study, for white males, whose more “mature” look was rated higher. There is one quote from Livingston which was particularly troubling to me. He says “Physical appearance, how you behave, having mixed-race parents-anything that conveys to whites ‘I’m not the typical black man’ can be helpful.”

No wonder Michael Jackson wanted to change his looks. He didn’t want to be a “typical black man.” No wonder there is increasing pressure to fit in and look like others. The unspoken implication is that if people aren’t comfortable with the way you look, you may not receive the job, promotion, recognition that you deserve. There are major ramifications associated with this kind of thinking. The primary problem is that people who “don’t look like the others” who are extremely talented may be overlooked or ignored. That is a huge waste of talent and resources. And don’t think that women aren’t also put under a microscope. Previous studies have indicated that women with short hair are promoted more in corporate America than women with longer hair. What does that do the all the weave queens and Beyonce wannabes out there buying tons of hair every year?

And don’t think this kind of thinking is limited to the lives of celebrities and corporate CEOs. Just this April, United Airlines announced that it will charge passengers for two airplane seats if they can’t fit into one.  More than a third of American people are overweight and yet the size of most airline seats haven’t changed in decades. United says they are making the move to respond to the comfort and well-being of all of their guests. I wonder how comfortable and welcome an overweight guest feels when they are asked to pony up enough money for two airplane tickets or get off the flight? Americans have always been obsessed with beauty and power. Now it appears that not only are people being discriminated against either  overtly or covertly, it is also going to cost them.

My iconic role model Frederick Douglass once said, “Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never has and it never will.” The seismic shift of power in America going on right now is indeed a response to a massive demand. We are now witnessing a transformation that reflects the values of those who now hold the majority of the power. Change came to America because of the demands of the American people for a better life. We are also witnessing the abandonment of the traditional news media because the American people believe that the news industry does very little to make their lives better.

Musical R & B icon Prince proclaims in a recent article “the gatekeepers are changing.” While he was referring to those who control the purse strings of the music industry, the same can be said about the media. The gatekeepers are changing. Indeed, many experts are saying that there are no more gatekeepers. There is no one to monitor what attracts news attention and what doesn’t. This is the new reality of the new technology and it is something that is completely out of the control of traditional media. President Barack Obama doesn’t need the news media to get his message out to America. His political machine accumulated 13 million e-mails during the campaign. He can take his message directly to the American people anytime he wants.

The way we think of media will never be the same. The most recent figures show that more than 10 thousand journalism jobs have been eliminated since September and many of us went out the door long before September. What are all these journalists going to do? The smart ones are going to evolve. They are learning how to do journalism differently.

Dr. Edward Wasserman, who is the Knight professor of journalism ethics at Washington and Lee University raises some interesting ethical questions in his recent column in the Atlanta Journal Constitution on Jan. 10, 2009 entitled “Media moonlighting plagued by conflicts of interest”. He contends that journalists who are now considering their options to utilize their craft in different ways perhaps are facing conflicts of interests with their journalistic values. It’s ironic that the very question Dr. Wasserman raised is actually the answer to this dilemma. Journalists now have to think about whether their professional integrity is being compromised as they practice their craft differently. 

I do agree with Dr.Wasserman’s questions about journalists who continue to work with news organizations who also “moonlight.” That is a very tricky area. However, there are a lot of very talented, experienced journalists who no longer work for traditional news organizations who can handle assignments, without compromising their core values. 

The traditional view of media that most journalists held when we started in the industry is now old school and a new paradigm has been created. The news industry, just like the rest of the nation’s corporations and businesses, is experiencing cataclysmic change. The news industry, as most traditionalists and baby boomers once knew it, no longer exists. The changes actually started with the burgeoning of new technologies. It was simply amplified by the economic debacle. In other words, it is no longer business as usual in the nation’s newsrooms, which are controlled by a small number of media conglomerates. The emerging media is being transformed by the proliferation of non-traditional media outlets on the Internet and on other platforms.

In most cases, the media jobs that journalists used to hold no longer exist and there is little chance that they will ever come back. Thousands of journalists must find a way to make a living and find a way to use their job skills in a different environment. Some have chosen to go into academia, public relations, or do something entirely different. I decided to practice journalism differently as a media strategist and consultant. My company, BreakThrough Inc. is also assisting journalists in a special program named “Journalists To Go.” This program matches independent journalists with opportunities from news agencies, companies, organizations or individuals who need media services. Journalists possess a specific skill set that can be applied in a variety of fields. More media professionals are re-inventing themselves by shifting their focus on how to be a solid journalist in today’s media environment.

One of the first things I explain to my clients is that I am a media strategist and consultant, not a public relations professional or a publicist. There is a big difference. Let’s say my client has a cow, but he wants it to be a horse. A PR person may throw a saddle on the cow, try to ride it and call it a horse. But if it moos and produces milk, it is still a cow. A media specialist will demonstrate the value of the cow to the client and strategize on the proper media placement to maximize the exposure and recognition of the cow. Let’s write and accentuate the story of the cow. That’s an example of the difference between a journalistic approach and a PR approach. We help people understand why and how things happen in the media.

I do agree with Dr.Wasserman’s conflict of interest questions about journalists who work with news organizations who also “moonlight.” However, there are a lot of very talented, experienced journalists out there who can handle assignments, without compromising their core values, outside the concept of traditional news organizations.

As far as the ethical concerns of corporate influence over the objectivity of news organizations goes… that cow is already out the barn. Networks routinely use the news division to promote their programming and corporate interests.  Journalism ethics cannot be dictated by corporate policy. Truth, honesty, openness, fairness and other tenants of quality journalism need to be part of the professional’s core values. And you won’t learn that in J-school. 

It’s a new day in journalism and it’s a new day for American media. The challenge for us is to deal with the wave of change or be buried under it.

There is probably no one in the entire world who doesn’t know that history was made with the election of Barack Obama as the first African American president of the United States. But to stop at that point would negate all the work, blood, sweat and tears that Americans from all walks of life have put into making this country live up to the promises of our ancestors…where all men (and women) are created equal. That is what Dr. Martin Luther King talked about when he spoke about our “beloved country.” I’m sure that President Obama will be constantly tested. I’m sure that the old saying that black folks have to be “twice as good to get half as far” will kick in. I’m sure that the governments and others around the world will question whether President Obama is “good enough.” Those are the kind of judgments that I and other folks in my generation, the one before me and the one after me have had to face all our lives. What makes us think that is going to change now? And we should not get all excited that things are going to change overnight, because they aren’t. It took us a long time to get in this situation and it’s going to take a while to straighten things out. But I am heartened because I sense a type of energy, hope and optimism in this country that I haven’t felt in more than 40 years. But we must use that energy in a positive and constructive way and not just let it end up in the pile of a “dream deferred.” We have some serious house cleaning to do. As I sat in church last week, I heard a story that reflected one of the first things we need to do. Civil rights icon, Rev. Joseph E. Lowery has been at home recently recovering from back surgery. Rev. Lowery lives in a so-called “bourgie” part of southwest Atlanta that is populated by teachers, lawyers, doctors and others from the first generation of beneficiaries of the civil rights movement. It is also an area where there is a growing number of the nouveaux riche who are building houses in the $500,000 plus range. So, in other words, this is not exactly “da hood.” Just last week, while Rev. Lowery was recovering, someone stole his car right out of his driveway. Then they drove two blocks down the street and started selling stuff out his car. One woman noticed the name on some of the material and alerted police. That’s when Rev. Lowery discovered his car had been stolen. Here is a man who has worked all his life for the rights of Black folk and laid his life on the line many times. Yet, the same people who have benefited from his sacrifices preyed on this senior statesman. That’s just not right. We’ve got to do better. We have got to clean out our own house first before we can expect Barack Obama to clean up the mess that we now face in this country. It is also going to be interesting to see how news organizations respond to the Obama universe. That’s because many of the people who could have provided insight and perspective have been among the dramatic cutbacks that news organizations have made in the last year. There is, and always has been, a major problem in the nation’s newsrooms when it comes to diversity. Case in point… there was no person of color anchoring the election night coverage on any of the major networks. There is something wrong with that. But… we’ll save that discussion for my next word from “sisters who have something to say.”  

Finally… the chickens have come home to roost. Year after year, we have witnessed completely unbridled greed devour our economy. The fat cats got fatter and the poor got poorer. Now, some of the biggest names in the business, Bear Stearns, AIG, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Merrill Lynch and a host of others looked into their accounts and found out what so many of us have experienced in the last few years… they were overdrawn! But unlike the rest of us, these “titans of industry” had a Sugar Daddy. The federal government comes to the rescue. Hello??? Did I miss my call from Uncle Sam when I faced foreclosure? Did Alan Greenspan and the gang try to come up with some relief for me when I had to pay my son’s college tuition at the same time that all the utility bills were due? Where is my bailout???? 

I also think I remember from my high school history class that when they refer to the federal government…they are talking about me…Ms. Taxpayer. So, MY MONEY is going to be used to bail out these corporations and corporate entities that refused to give me a loan, tried to take my house and made it difficult for me to fund my son’s college education. What’s wrong with this picture? The bottom line is that we are ALL in trouble in today’s economy. The forecasters keep saying that we having seen the bottom yet and that the economy is going to continue to get worse. How much worse can it get? And if I’m not mistaken, we are experiencing this complete implosion right at the end of eight horrible years of a Republican administration! Sean Hannity, Neal Bortz, and the rest of you haters… as Little Richard used to say… SHUT UP! How can you be proud about anything that is happening with our economy now? Is this what you call realizing the American Dream? You need to get a grip. Borrowing a line from the movie “Broadcast News…The American people are “mad as hell and we aren’t going to take it any more.” Get ready for a revolution. It’s long overdue.