Note to Sarah Palin: Mother to Mother-”Get Real!”

The Republicans are on their way home…now the fun begins. In just a few months, we will know who will lead the country for the next four years. My question to Sarah Palin is this. Who is going to lead your children? I get it when you say you have a supportive husband who is always there for you. I get it when you complain that men aren’t subjected to the same kind of questioning as women when it comes to family values. Been there…done that… got the t-shirt. But Sarah… GET REAL. No one will ever be able to take your place as a mother. I’m telling you this not because of what I have heard. I’m telling you this because this is what I know. More than 17 years ago, I was elected the national president of the National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ)….the first woman in our organization to accomplish that. The biggest heartstring pulling at me was how it would affect my two year old son. That consideration almost forced me not to run.

But NABJ has always been like a family to me and my family rallied around me and offered me all the support and encouragement I needed. Even after I was elected, I realized that there was a cost involved. Many times I would have to load the entire family into the car to drive to meetings around the country instead of flying, just so we could be together. Several women in the organization became surrogate moms when I had presidential duties to perform. I will never forget the time when NABJ VP Sheila Stainback stood in the back of the ballroom, covering the ears of my young son with her hands, when I had to challenge and eventually put out vile rapper Bushwick Bill from a session on hip-hop music when he used derogatory language directed towards the women in the audience. I remember the time we were panicking when my son unintentionally locked himself in the master bedroom of the presidential suite during a convention and we couldn’t awaken him for hours to unlock the door. For some reason, the hotel staff didn’t have a key to the room as we banged and banged on the door as tears swelled in my eyes. Eventually, he woke up and walked out, with a look that said, “why are you all so worried about me?”

Now here you are, Sarah, not only dealing with a child with special needs, but also with a daughter who has done something that we have been imploring all of our young girls NOT to do and that is have sex and get pregnant, especially before entering the holy bond of matrimony. Your children need you more than ever before. And with respect to all the fathers of the world, they will never be a MOMMY to your children. While I am not questioning your dedication to our country, your family comes FIRST. They always will. That reality has forced many of us to make some difficult choices about our lives and our careers.

Many women have stepped out of the workplace because of that choice. Others have taken jobs that don’t force them to travel so much. I thank God that when my children were born, I had a position as an executive producer of a morning news program that allowed me to be home almost always in the afternoon. My children have never been latchkey children. I’ve been to almost every baseball and football game and every wrestling match. I’ve served team meals, taken snacks to the boys, washed uniforms and then stayed up late with them to make sure they did their homework. That’s what’s being a mother is all about.  

Now Sarah you are the poster girl for “hockey moms” and other working mothers. But I really wonder whether you know what that really means. Do you really know the sacrifices you are asking your family to make? Do you really expect your family to escape the glare, criticism and praise of the media? 

And while we are talking about what’s off limits and what’s not when it comes to the media scrutiny of the candidates’ families, I must respectfully disagree with my brother Barack Obama and others who are telling the media to “back off.” Sorry kiddos, that’s not going to happen. Since when do politicians tell journalists how to do our job? They may not like what the media say and do, but it’s reality. Get over it. Smart politicians listen to their media advisors and develop a strategy on how to deal with this reality, not condemn it. Everyone’s family is fair game when you run for office. That’s the price of public office. That’s why many people decide not to go into that arena because they know the toll it will take on their family and friends. You may not think it is right or fair, but this is the real world and that’s how we roll. 

So Sarah, Barack, John and all of the other pundits lashing out at the media need to get a wake up call. You’ve made your choice and now you have to deal with the consequences…the good, the bad and the ugly. As my beloved late mother used to say, “you’ve made your bed, now lay in it.”

The New Reality

 

The Real ME

I know it’s been a long time since I posted on my blog. But I have been totally focused on survival in a world that is increasingly shaky for journalists and others in the media. Every day I read the trades and on-line newsletters about the hundreds if not thousands of people in the media who are losing their jobs. That’s only for one industry… not including the thousands being laid off, downsized and put out to pasture in other industries. Never in my lifetime have I seen such a negative economic situation. Regardless of who is eventually elected president (Barack), he will have his hands full dealing with the legacy of the Bushes. We are indeed in a new global reality and I’m not sure we have a total grasp of what that really means. When I see the thousands of people who are out of work, I thank God that I made my transition from the traditional newsroom ahead of the curve two years ago. I find myself thinking, where are all those unemployed journalists going to work? Some will make their transition into PR or academia. Others will be like me and try their hand at entrepreneurship. Despite the fact that I have been out here for two years, I am still facing a steep learning curve going from the confines of corporate America to fending for myself. I am learning something every day and I find out how much more I have to learn every day. So what is happening to others who find themselves in my circumstances? There just aren’t that many PR, teaching or otherwise journalism related jobs out there. I don’t presume to have the answers to all these questions, but it has caused me to pause and do some deep reflection on my life, my family and our world. Whether we like it or not, we are in the middle of a revolution. The result of that revolution will profoundly affect the way all of us live. The challenge for us is whether we are ready to deal with this new reality.